BKA6 – The Role You Were Born To Play (Original)

[ The Role You Were Born To Play ]

 

*** Wednesday ***

 

Kitty awoke at the usual time, and for a few moments allowed herself to believe that the events of for previous day we’re a really bad dream. But very quickly, reality set in and she was immediately once again furious about Jake dumping her for Mike and Molly’s daughter. 

 

*** Thursday ***

 

Kitty and the Cheerios perform Girlfriend to intimidate Marley 

 

[Chorus]

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I don’t like your girlfriend!

No way! No way!

I think you need a new one

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I know that you like me

No way! No way!

I know it’s not a secret

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I want to be your girlfriend

 

[Verse 1]

You’re so fine

I want you mine

You’re so delicious

I think about you all the time

You’re so addictive

Don’t you know what I could do to make you feel alright (alright, alright, alright)?

Don’t pretend I think you know I’m damn precious

And Hell Yeah

I’m the motherfucking princess

I can tell you like me too and you know I’m right

 

[Bridge:]

She’s like so whatever

You could do so much better

I think we should get together now

And that’s what everyone’s talking about!

 

[Chorus:]

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I don’t like your girlfriend!

No way! No way!

I think you need a new one

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I know that you like me

No way! No way!

You know it’s not a secret

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I want to be your girlfriend

 

[Verse 2]

I can see the way, I see the way you look at me

And even when you look away I know you think of me

I know you talk about me all the time again and again (again, again, again)

So come over here, tell me what I want to hear

Better yet make your girlfriend disappear

I don’t want to hear you say her name ever again (and again, and again, and again!)

 

[Bridge]

 

[Chorus]

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I don’t like your girlfriend!

No way! No way!

I think you need a new one

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I know that you like me

No way! No way!

You know it’s not a secret

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I want to be your girlfriend

 

In a second you’ll be wrapped around my finger

’cause I can, ’cause I can do it better

There’s no other

So when’s it gonna sink in?

She’s so stupid

What the hell were you thinking?!

[repeat]

 

[Chorus x2]

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I don’t like your girlfriend!

No way! No way!

I think you need a new one

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I could be your girlfriend

No way! No way!

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I know that you like me

No way! No way!

You know it’s not a secret

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I want to be your girlfriend

No way! No way!

 

Hey! Hey!

 

*** Friday *** 

 

At first Kitty had no real interest in being in the fall musical, but this year they were actually doing something good, Grease,  When she found out that Marley was auditioning for the lead, she decided she had to prevent that at all costs and decided to audition for the role of Sandy as well, even though Rizzo was probably a better fit for her personality. 

 

Friday morning Kitty walked down the hall and saw Jake watching Ryder Lynn and Marley talk about the school plan. 

 

“What’s that perfume you’re wearing?” she asked him. “Jealousy By You?”

 

“Uh, what am I jealous of?” he asked her, but his eyes were still on Marley.

 

“Oh, just your girlfriend talking to the hottest guy at McKinley who also happens to be a star football player with yummy old-school Justin Bieber hair.”

 

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he retorted, turning to face Kitty finally. “And who wants Justin Bieber hair?

 

“Half-black guys who can’t grow it?  Sorry but you had that coming since you broke up with me. And nobody breaks up with me. Which is why I’ve been telling people I dumped you because you have a gross third nipple.”

 

She turned away from Jake, and headed toward Ryder and Marley, “Now if you’ll excuse me…”

 

She headed down the hall and stopped a few feet away from Ryder and Marley who were still talking.

 

“Hey Ryder. Hey, Mona..

 

“It’s Marley,” she corrected.

 

“Oh right, ‘Marley,’ like the dead dog movie? I heard you killed your Grease audition. And I know you’re excited about the prospect of playing Sandy because everyone knows that poor people don’t have many opportunities to actually enjoy anything; which is why it’s  be such a bummer when I take the part from you.”

 

“You’re auditioning?” Markey asked in disbelief.

 

“I am,” she confirmed.  “By the way Ryder, you should know about this one’s gene pool. She’s only got a month or two before she starts ballooning to her natural weight of 5,000 pounds and starts writing her memoir, Fifty Shades of Gravy.”

 

“Wow,” Ryder interrupted. “You’re kind of a bitch. What did she ever do to you?”

 

“Besides trying to steal away my three-nippled ex-boyfriend?” She turned back to Marley, “You cast yourself as the poor little simply dork-able nice girl. But I know, and you know, and sweet baby Jesus in the manger knows what you really are: a scheming little kiss-ass.”

 

With that Marley silently walked off.

 

She turned back to Ryder and without missing a beat told him, “I”m single, by the way.” before continuing down the hallway to sign up on the bulletin board for Grease auditions.

 

Jake walked up next to her and said, “Sign me up too.”

 

“I thought you were too cool for the school play.”

 

“Well someone’s gotta keep you from killing Marley.”

 

“And keep Marley from fornicating with Ryder?” she wrote his name on the list below hers. “I’m not as dumb as you look, Puckerman.”

 

She finished writing and then added, “I have the perfect audition song for us.”

 

“Us?” he asked as she walked off.

 

***

 

That afternoon Kitty and Jake auditioned with the song Everybody Talks. They had an elaborate sexy back and forth dance moves very reminiscent of the dancing near the end of the movie that made it appear to anyone who wa watching that they were still together. During the performance, Kitty saw, Marley out of the corner of her eye. The girl was clearly jealous. Mission Accomplished. The judges were clearly impressed as well, judging by their cheers, Jake momentarily forgot that they were broken up and gave Kitty a big hug lifting her off of the stage.

 

***

 

Kitty, Jake, Marley, and Ryder all made callbacks for the leads. They met with the directors, choreographer, and vocal coach a few days later in the auditorium. 

 

“All right,” Mercedes Jones, the vocal coach of the production addressed the group. “You guys killed your auditions, but there can only be one Sandy, and there can only be one Danny.”

 

“The heart of Grease,” added Mike Chang, the choreographer,”is the Danny-Sandy romance. This callback is all about the chemistry. We want to see how well you play off each-other. Is there heat?”

 

“We also want to see how you sing and dance ‘50s style.” Finn Hudson, one of the co-directors added, “that’s why we gave you the audition song ahead of time.”

 

“I don’t really read music.” Ryder confessed.

 

“It’s okay.” Mike reassured him. “Mercedes and I will get you started.”

 

“Start away,” Kitty said confidently. She turned to face Marley “Everyone knows Kitty Cat’s gonna finish it.”

 

“Oh,” Mercedes said. “You have a lot of attitude, little girl. Let’s see if you have the stuff to back it up. Hit it.”

 

The band started playing Sha Na Na’s “Born to Hand Jive” and the group began doing the hand jive to Mercedes’s vocals. They danced around together and independently, changing partner every few minutes. Kitty saw that Marley was better than she expected her to be so she jumped between  she and Jake and ass bumped her out of the way into Ryder. Then Ryder and Jake got into a shoving match while Marley watched and Artie told them to break it up. They went back to dancing and their dance moves grew even more elaborate with flips, the limbo, leg lifts, etc. When it was over Kitty stared at Ryder and Marley as they hugged.

 

***

 

The following afternoon the cast list was posted:

 

Grease Cast:

 

Brittany S. Pierce as Cha Cha

Tina Cohen Chang as Jan

Sam Evans as Kenickie

Wade “Unique” Adams as Rizzo

Blaine Anderson as Teen Angel

Jake Puckerman as Putzie

Ryder Lynn as Danny Zuko

Marley Rose as Sandy Olsen

Kitty Wilde as Patty Simcox

 

One by one students walked up to see what roles they got. Marley in particular was very happy, giggling when she read the list. That could not be a good sign.

 

Kitty shoved her way past several others to view the cast list.

 

Bad enough that Marley got the role of Sady over her, and that FREAK Unique got Rizzo and Kitty was given the a decidedly less glamorous role of Patty Simcox. This was almost as bad as not getting a role at all

 

“Patty Simcox?  Patty Simcox! Who the hell is Patty Simcox?!” she demanded to know. “I don’t understand, I prayed really hard about this.”

 

But none of the directors answered her. Artie averted his eyes.

 

“Maybe,” Joe answered, “God didn’t hear you because he was busy helping people with cancer?”

 

“Shut it Avatar!” she retorted.

 

“This is all your fault,” she said, turning to to Jake in accusatory manner, “you screwed up Hand Jive!”

 

“No I didn’t, we were both great. It just didn’t work out.”

 

“I’ve been hearing that a lot lately from you.”

 

She shoved her way past Marley, and then stopped, turning back to address her, “Oh. One little thing, Honey Boo Boo. I know a good, hot meal is hard to resist, especially when you’re on the free lunch program, but remember, the stage always adds at least ten pounds. In your case, closer to 90, So when you and your mom, Strawberry Hugecake, are dumpster diving for your costume, keep on picking until you find something slimming. Like a black Hefty Bag.”

 

And with that she stormed down the hallway past coach Sue who told her, “Kitty, my baby needs to be fed.”

 

***

 

A few minutes later, Kitty stared in disbelief at the cast list in the Wikipedia article on her phone

 

“Patty Simcox: A pretty, preppy cheerleader, and perky. She is a bit of a pain and unpopular with the Pink Ladies. Nominated for student council. In the film version she is nominated for student body president and on the decorating committee with Eugene Florczyk”

 

The Grease Wiki had more

 

“Patty Simcox is a cheerleader in Grease. She is a popular overachieving cheerleader who is constantly being pranked and made fun of by the T-Birds and Pink Ladies.

 

Personality: Patty Simcox is a pretty, popular student at Rydell High School. She is overly enthusiastic and extremely involved in her school. She is the head cheerleader, class vice-president, and the head of almost all the committees at Rydell. She is pranked and made fun of by the T-Birds and Pink Ladies because they find her overachieving and enthusiastic personality annoying, the fact that she is in the popular jock group only makes matters worse for her. She and Betty Rizzo seem to have the worst relationship, as Rizzo rips up Patty’s student council election fliers and makes fun of her, and Patty is seen gossiping and making fun of Rizzo to other popular girls about Rizzo’s possible pregnancy. At the end of the movie, it seems like the jock Chism (who Sandy had previously dated) have a relationship.”

 

and next to the article was a picture which Kitty recognized as the girl who Kenickie put a frog in her purse in the movie.

 

Someone had a real twisted sense of humor.