The following is a “deleted scene” from my forthcoming chapter All Or Nothing in The Ballad of Kitty and Artie. This chapter takes place after the events in the episode Wonder-ful, where it has become very apparent to Kitty and Artie that there is something going on between the two of them, and an added subplot of this episode will feature the two of them exploring their feelings while at the same time preparing for Regionals.

*** Sunday Evening ***

Kitty Wilde lay in her bed paging through some photographs taken during the school year. It had been an eventful seven months for her so far. She had started off wanting nothing more than to gain popularity and power at McKinley High School, and was willing to do whatever it took to get it; and if that meant that she had to hurt others in the process then she would do it, with no concern for consequences to those she hurt.

But somewhere along the way things had changed. Ever since she gotten involved with Glee Club, things were not as clear as they had been in the past. Between the school shooting and the growing relationship she had with the other glee club members, in particular Artie Abrams, Kitty began to look back at her life and re-examine her priorities. She remembered all the terrible things that she had done to her fellow students; in particular Marley Rose, Jake Puckerman, Unique and yes even Artie before she really knew him, and felt ashamed.

Artie.

It was becoming harder and harder to ignore the growing feelings that she had for him, although she would never admit it out loud, and had denied it the times others had pointed it out to her. But it was becoming harder and harder to deny to herself. Even though they occupied two vastly different places in the McKinley High Social Hierarchy, the feelings that she begun to have for him we’re becoming undeniable.

She’d suspected that he had a crush on him pretty much since she’d met him, but rarely given it much thought. She was a hot cheerleader, and it was expected that guys would develop crushes on her.

She’d definitely known he had developed a crush on her back during Guilty Pleasures week by the way he looked at her and what he said (or tried to say, until she shut him down, the way she always did when a complement made her uncomfortable) when she and the other girls performed Wannabe. But she’d convinced herself that it was only a crush and would pass….except it didn’t seem to.

In retrospect, she had to admit that once she saw the attention he was giving her, she’d begun to show off for him. That week, she’d begun to suspect something when he let her hitch a ride on his wheelchair when they performed Wake Me Up Before You Go Go, something that she’d only witnessed him do with his former crush, the irritating Sugar Motta.

Between the two it was painfully obvious that he was attracted to her, something she’d suspected off and on since they had met  She just didn’t expect him to acknowledge it verbally.

By the time they had performed Mama Mia at the end of the week she’d become seriously flustered around him and when it had been time to hug him, she’d grabbed him awkwardly and unintentionally shoved his face into her bosom. She felt his warm moist breath against her skin from his heavy breathing and felt her face flush, she moved away quickly and hoped that her makeup would protect her enough that it wasn’t too visible.

Kitty had always believe that real love didn’t exist. That it was just a disguised form of infatuation; that it wasn’t really possible for a person to love another person the way that you saw in the movies, let alone for two people to have those same feelings for eachother. And for any length of time. The possibility seemed so remote that she never thought it would happen to her: the biggest bitch at McKinley High.  And yet she was still having these feelings she didn’t recognize.

She tried to tell herself that it was just friendship, another relationship she had little experience with, but deep down she knew that there was more to it than that, and from what she was able to tell it was at least possible that what he had was more than a crush and he returned those feelings. But she knew that if there was any chance at all for the two of them she needed to work on herself and become a better person to become worthy of him. Artie was a sweetie and deserved better. She’d already begun to grow, something that people were beginning to recognize, but would it be enough?

Kitty sat up and began to sing The Reason by Hoobastank

I’m not a perfect person

There’s many things I wish I didn’t do

But I continue learning

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

I’ve found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

I’m sorry that I hurt you

It’s something I must live with every day

And all the pain I put you through

I wish that I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears

That’s why I need you to hear

I’ve found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

I’m not a perfect person

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

I’ve found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

I’ve found a reason to show

A side of me you didn’t know

A reason for all that I do

And the reason is you

Kitty smiled. She would make herself worthy of him if that’s what this was.