######## Kitty’s Confession #######
Note: This takes place immediately after Unexpected After Prom Bonding.
WARNING: This chapter deals with the discussion of past child molestation.
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Later that evening, Artie and Kitty were dancing at the prom. Artie was still wearing his tux, which served as a reminder of the events earlier in the evening, and how under-dressed she was.
There was a time when she would never have dreamed of doing something so selfless as giving away her prom dress to someone else, let alone someone she didn’t even get along with most of the time; but she had realized that being popular meant nothing if you didn’t also have friends – real friends, not like the ones she had on the Cheerios and football team, who were only friends when it suited them or they got something from it.
She began to think about the school year so far. Seven months ago Kitty would never have dreamed that she would have found such good friends as she had in the glee club. That fall she hadn’t given them very much credit, but despite the way she had treated many of them (especially Marley and Tina) – and continued to do so after she joined – they welcomed her into their midst, encouraged her to be herself and share her talent and love of music with them. They provided a place where she could express herself free of the critical eye of judgement that she experienced everywhere else.
And then there was Artie.
Artie, was the first glee club member to befriend her (even if she was reluctant to accept it at first) and continued to be nice to her, even when she wasn’t being so nice to he and the others. When she first met him she hadn’t paid a lot of attention to him, but now she couldn’t imagine her life without him. She’d considered him to be her best friend – probably her only real one – for a while now; though he probably didn’t know that.
But now he was much more.
She wasn’t sure when she had fallen in love with him, but looking back it had to be sometime before Wonder-ful week. She would never have stuck her neck out that far to help someone she wasn’t in love with. She’d been in denial, at least in part because she was afraid of what would happen when they inevitably broke up, as all of her other relationships had.
Even now, knowing that he shared her deep feelings she was afraid of how he would react when she told him her secret. Judging by how he had reacted when Ryder had shared his, she was prepared to be disappointed, and that threatened to break her heart. But she knew the longer she waited, the harder it would be to tell him, so she began gathering her resolve.
Her attention was brought back to the present when she noticed he was talking to her.
“- any idea how proud of you I am?”
“It was no big deal,” Kitty replied. She could tell he probably thought it was a lie, but it really wasn’t.
“Yes it was. It’s your prom too, and trying to warn Tina about the slushie bucket, and then giving her your dress and helping clean her up took a lot of courage. Your image is important to you. We all get that. That’s not going to endear you in the eyes of Bree and the other Cheerios. I just wanted you to know that it didn’t go unnoticed.”
“I really don’t care anymore Artie. The New Directions are my real friends at McKinley, I know that now and I’m okay with whatever happens with the Cheerios.”
The music turned to a slow song, and Kitty sat down in Artie’s lap and they moved around slowly. Their eyes met and they shared a deep and passionate kiss.
They continued to roll slowly for the rest of the song.
“Did you get a room?” She asked casually in his ear as the song ended.
“I didn’t want to assume,” he replied.
She looked him in the eye and gave him the ‘really’ look .
“Okay, yeah, I did. But it was just in case. We haven’t been dating that long and I don’t want you to feel obligated.”
She kissed him again. “That’s sweet Artie but it IS prom after all.”
“Shall we go?” She asked
She rose to her feet and pushed his chair out of the gym, and out to her car.
The time during the car ride was mostly silent as Kitty went over in her head what she was going to say to him. If he rejected her or didn’t understand then so be it but at least they’d have the privacy of the motel room to talk. But she knew that if she didn’t get this out now she never would.
During the car ride over, Artie considered the woman sitting next to him. He could tell there was something on her mind. Was it really possible that she was nervous about having sex with him? That seemed unlikely, given her reputation and the guys he knew she’d dated. Thinking of her with Jake or Puck, even though he knew the latter was just the illusion of a relationship, made his stomach turn so he put it out of his mind.
“Is everything okay?” He asked casually.
“Fine,” she answered with a fake smile.
But he could tell that it really wasn’t, and hoped she would tell him what was bothering her.
A few minutes later they arrived at the motel and checked into the room. Kitty brought in an overnight bag she’d stored in her trunk and Artie brought in the garment bag he needed to put his tux in along with a small bag to change into everyday clothes.
They loosened and removed his tie, cummerbund and jacket. Then they settled in and relaxed on the bed. They had their arms around each other and just held each other close. She smiled and kissed him, and he smiled back.
Here it goes, she thought.
“You know I love you right?” She asked him.
He nodded. This wasn’t the first time she had said those three words. “It would be nice to actually hear it once in a while though.” He smiled.
“I’m sorry I’m not more direct with my feelings,” she told him. “Because of some things in my past, It’s just really hard for me to express how I feel, because it makes me feel vulnerable.”
“Yeah, I get it.” he responded. “I’ve been hurt myself. Every girl I’ve dated has either looked down on me or cheated on me.” After a few awkward moments of silence, he continued, “I love you too. Being with you makes me very happy.”
He kissed her again.
She smiled… Taking a few more moments to get up the courage to go on.
“Before we go any further,” she told him. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
“Okay,” he said. From the tone of her voice he could tell it was something important and she was apprehensive about it.
“Whatever it is, take your time,” he told her and they kissed again, drawing her close with a hug, laying her head on his shoulder.
She took a deep breath and began, “I just thought that you should know that … What we’re about to do … We’ll… this will be my first time…” she paused a moment to allow her words to sink in. …
His eyes widened and his mouth slowly opened as he slowly understood what she was getting at. A dozen questions entered his mind, but all he could say was “really?”
“Yeah,” she said cautiously, “I’ve had some … trouble … With trusting people … especially guys…”
She took a deep breath and continued.
“When I was in 6th Grade, my friend Julie’s older brother did some … things… It happened during a slumber party… He crawled into my sleeping bag and … touched me…places…” She tilted her head to face him. The expression on her face and the tears welling in her eyes told him the rest.
“Ever since then I’ve had issues with trust. I’ve never met a guy I felt I had strong enough feelings for and could trust enough to share that part of myself with … Until now.”
He took a moment to let it sink in. He snuggled her close and began to rub her shoulder and arm to comfort her the way he knew she liked.
“How come you didn’t tell anyone?”
“I did,” she said, “eventually I managed to work up the courage to tell my parents, but they did not seem to really understand how traumatic it was for me.” She wiped away the tears that had begun to stream down her cheeks. “They talked to his parents, but nothing happened. They actually kind of acted like they were sorry for even bringing it up.” She paused for a moment, but he didn’t know what to say.
“When my friend Julie found out,” she continued, “she told all of my friends that I was spreading lies about her brother, and everyone turned against me and made my life a living hell until I decided to transfer schools.”
He didn’t know what to say so he just held her for several more minutes as she continued to fight back the tears. Finally he broke the silence.
“Why didn’t you tell your friends in glee club?”
“Because I was afraid, and angry, and and I buried it inside so I didn’t have to think about it. I didn’t for several years.
“Then when Ryder told us about what happened with his babysitter, it all came back to me. I was really upset by how you and Sam reacted, but thought that I had found a friend, in Ryder, who understood and that I could talk to about it.”
He instinctively open his mouth to apologize, but closed it again because he could see that she really needed to get this out.
“So invited him to dinner at BreadstiX,” She continued, “and told him. For a while I thought that I’d found a kindred who really understood what I had gone through and we definitely shared a moment. I wanted to continue that, but he blew me off afterward. I would have thought that he of all people would understand, but apparently he must see me as being as damaged by the experience as he was-”
“-You’re not damaged-”
“-Yes… I really am, but thank you…” She squeezed him close in a hug.
“After that, I decided not to tell anyone else. I was afraid to tell you after seeing your reaction to Ryder’s confession, but now that we’re together-.”
“I’m sorry. I had no idea.”
“It’s not okay. I should have been more understanding. I wasn’t going to say anything, but then Sam did, and then I jumped in and open the floodgates of insensitivity.”
“But you were right. It is something that most teenage boys do fantasize about. Some girls do too. But when it happens for real it’s not like the fantasies, and it does something. It changes you. Affects your relationships with that opposite sex. Makes it hard to trust.”
“Im so sorry. We don’t have to do anything here if you don’t want to. ”
“But I do… I just needed you to know, and for you to try to be patient with me…”
“In case you’ve forgotten, I have body issues too. It’s not the same but-.”
“Yeah, but you’ve at least had sex before.”
“But I’ve never let a woman see me completely naked,” he admitted sheepishly. “I always left some clothes on.”
It wasn’t the same thing, but it was nice that he had kept something to share only with her.
She gave him another kiss, and the two of them just lay there letting it all sink in.
“I just need to know that this is something that you really want,” Artie told her, breaking the silence, “and that it means something to you. My first time was with Brittany, and it meant nothing to her. I was just one more person off her list. I won’t do that to someone else, especially someone I’m in love with. If we’re going to do this, I need to know that it’s something that you really want and that you understand that it’s not just a casual thing for me.”
“Are you kidding?..I haven’t wanted something so badly in a long time…You have no idea how much it means to me that you’re willing to be with me after what I told you. A lot of guys wouldn’t. And I can assure you that it means a great deal to me. I think I’ve been blowing off guys who wanted me, because I wanted my first real time to mean something special to me too.”
Artie kissed her deeply. “I love you Kitty Wilde and thank you for having the courage to tell me.”
They began to kiss more passionately and little by little they slipped out of their remaining clothes. First their lips parted only long enough to slip her t-shirt over her head. As the continued to kiss, he could feel her arousal through her bra as her chest pressed against his.
Then she helped him out of his tux shirt. They kissed several more minutes before breaking apart. She stood, leaking over the edge of her bed kissing him as she slipped out of her jeans, and she was down to socks, a black bra and panties.
She stood there for a few more moments and helped him out of his pants and he was down to socks, undershirt and briefs.
She rejoined him on the bed and shed her socks, then took a moment to help him with his. They cuddled together on their sides under the covers and continued to kiss each other. Their hands roamed and her face flushed and her body tingled as she felt his hands move around on her flesh.
As her fingers reached his lower back, she brushed against a rough patch of skin, and froze for a second.
As if responding to her silent question, he said, “That’s the scar from the car accident.”
She instinctively removed her hand, “sorry,” she said.
“No,” he said. “It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt or anything. Go ahead.”
She tentatively returned her hand to the spot on his lower back and fealty the rough patch several inches long.
“it really doesn’t hurt?” She asked.
“No,” he told her. “Not in a long time. But it’s ugly and it’s not something that I’ve ever shared with anyone but my doctors and parents.” That would explain why he always wore tucked in white shirts and never went topless like the other guys in glee club.
She tentatively moved her hand back to the scar and kissed him again. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”
After about a half hour of this, Kitty slipped off her bra and he tossed his undershirt aside.
She took his hand and placed it on her breast. “I know you’ve been dieing to do that,” she teased.
They both smiled and continued to make out and explore each others bodies seeing what the other one liked. When she sensed the growing bulge in his pants she helped him out do his briefs and slipped off her panties.
They were both completely nude in eachothers arms.
“I love you,” she told him.
“I love you too,” he told her.
They spent the next several minutes continuing to explore each others bodies, taking things very slow, always making sure that the other was comfortable.
She positioned herself so that he could enter her. She looked him in the eye, giving her consent with a nod. But just as they were about to do the deed she suddenly panicked and jerked back.
“I’m sorry Artie, I love you, but I just can’t do this I want to but I just can’t.”
She turned on her other side, rolled herself up in the fetal position and began to cry.
“It’s okay,” he told her, tentatively placing his hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay,” he repeated. When he saw that she didn’t push him away, he put his arm around her, holding her close and kissed her on the cheek. “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to I still love you.”
She continued to sob, but he just held her in his arms rubbing her shoulder and neck telling her it was okay. When her tears were exhausted she she said, “Thank you.”
“I know I can’t fully understand what this was like for you,” he told her. “But I’m here for you and I don’t want you to do anything that you’re not comfortable with. We can wait as long as you need because I love you and you’re worth it.”
He held her close and kissed her on the cheek again and they just lay there spooning in each other’s arms falling asleep.
Several hours later Kitty awoke in Artie’s arms. She felt so at peace and comfortable with him. It reminded her of the time they spent together after the school shooting. He just held her in his arms and said very little, only giving her the comfort of his touch and gentle reassurances when he sensed she need it, without the platitudes she got from her parents and others who did not share the experience. He somehow knew what to say and do to comfort her. Perhaps that was when she fell in love with him?
She switched positions facing him. Then she kissed him on the lips and he stared at her for a moment, smiling.
“I love you,” she said.
“I love you too,” he told her with a smile.
And she knew that he meant it. She lay there in his arms completely content and comfortable, happy that she had found someone who truly loved her and accepted her for who and what she’d was, faults and all, and that respected her enough and would never pressure her into doing anything that she was uncomfortable with.
The two of them lay there in each other’s arms, content and happy, until they fell asleep again.
The next morning Kitty awoke in Artie’s arms again and smiled at him as he slept. She wished they could stay like this forever, but knew that checkout was likely in a few hours, and she would need to come up with a reason for her parents to explain why she didn’t come home. But for now she concentrated on enjoying her time in his arms.